The Words I Can Say

Asleep in Silence, alive in Pain. 

Dead in Ignorance, reborn insane.

In the late hours I'm tempted to say, 

"Good Lord we're broken,

But I know it's not in vain."

You're a world away. 

Changed.

Deranged. (Compared to how I knew you).

Obtained. (By the incinerator of souls).

(Depression). 

Intercession. (With yourself under cover). 

Of darkness. (It's my only explanation). 

For why you severed the umbilicals linking us.

Feeding me. Ornamentation. 

But I was not decorous.

I did not make you look better.

You made me better. Or maybe not.

Perhaps, most probably,

Your eager ear made my loose lips utter justifications

For my actions, because you listening 

Emboldened me. 

Destructively. 

I don't know why but your hand grabbing for me 

Only made me position my mind equidistant

From you and the love in me. 

It was like tug of war with heaven and hades;

The rope, blue,

And heaven—on fire.

Asleep in Silence, alive in Pain. 

Dead in Ignorance, reborn insane.

In the late hours I'm tempted to say, 

"Good lord we're broken, 

But I know it's not in vain."

You are a world away. 

Changed.

Deranged. (Compared to how I knew you).

Obtained. (By the incinerator of souls).

(Depression). 

Intercession. (With yourself under cover). 

Of darkness. (It's my only explanation). 

For why, in God's name,

You would drop to one knee

Then turn around & abandon me. 

Caging the love in my heart and

Training it to fear the airborne, forlorn

Nature of Cupid's dart. 

Because your love was an ultimatum

"What if I just proposed?"

I know that nobody really knows, but I do. And those?  

Those were your words. 

Verbatim.

-Speechless